recently on the turntable

Beat Rhythm Fashion
turn of the century

Bob Dylan
blonde on blonde

Danielle Howle
about to burst

Lazy
some assembly required

morning tea

apple & blackberry muffin
chocolate shortbread
latte

weather forecast tomorrow

light winds, occasional showers and a southerly change

Well, shit. Today was a Monday, and it was a good day! I mean I actually felt good at work.  It was just some small things - ringing some people, getting a mail-out done, having a few ideas for the future - but they added up to some satisfaction.

Sometimes I feel very close to making things really happen at work, to effect the changes that need to be made, and to engender the urgency that we need. And, every time, so far, I seem to pull back from the effort of doing what I know needs to be done.

I don't know quite what it is. It's almost like something's stopping me from succeeding. Something inside of me that says you're not supposed to have this. But I fight that. And one day I'll beat it.

I'm sure a main reason I felt so good today was that the painting is finished at home. It's like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I'm enjoying the feeling of being able to use our kitchen again, of sitting in the living room listening to music. We've moved the computer desk to the living room for the moment, and as I type this, I can look out over the night harbour - lights shimmering across the water, cars moving along the roads - and I can hear the wind whistling around the house. It's nice, and I'm relaxing.

Earlier this evening Deb and I went on a tour of the delivery suite. We now know the route to drive when it's time, and what the labour room will look like, and how the delivery suite is set up, and who's likely to be around etc. The place itself is an impersonal hospital. Dinky rooms. Lime coloured linoleum on the walls. Smells wafting down the corridors.  But that's ok. When we're there, the people we'll have around us, and the experience, will surpass the surroundings.

The baby's due on June 23, just over two weeks away. We're kinda hoping it will wait until then and give us two weeks to just tune ourselves mentally for it. But, of course, da baby comes when da baby comes.

It's gonna be waycool.