I didn't realise all day today, or yesterday, or even for the last week. Deb at least remembered sometime today, but promptly forgot about it.

We were making dinner (beef stirfry) and the old fan heater was playing up and Deb said, "well, at least we've got eight years out of it". And I thought, "wow, is it that long since we got married?" - it was a wedding present - and then I thought, "hmmmm, it's May now", and then, "May 12 in fact".

It's our anniversary today. I had a huge smile on my face as I turned to Deb and we hugged closely, intimately. I don't usually forget, but on the other hand neither of us make a big deal out of anniversaries, birthdays etc. But, because of what's happened, our eighth anniversary does feel special, something to be proud of. And I said to Deb, "if we can survive this long, we can survive the rest of our lives together".

What's the old song, or cliché?

"No one said it would be easy, but no one said it would be this hard".

And yet, we're still here, plugging away, trying to make it work, about to become parents for the first time. Notwithstanding the other times I've fucked up, I think we'll do it.

I've just tucked Deb into bed. I've been at basketball practice tonight, and it usually takes me a while to wind down after that, hence staying up late to write this. It's a well planned operation to make a pregnant women comfortable in bed. You need to help undressing, getting the pants down over the ankles in particular, then helping put the bed socks on, arranging the pillows just so, helping her ease back into position, and then passing up the 'New Scientist' for her to read in bed.

I'm not too much of reader in bed. Well at least not at night, I do in the mornings. Ideally, I'd hit the bed, turn out the light and fall asleep within five minutes. Deb's more of a "let's talk, read, share the day kinda of a person". Over the years we've compromised, and even established a fairly standard bed-time ritual. Maybe that's another journal entry in itself!

As I write this, Gump, one of our cats, is lying asleep atop the computer monitor. I guess it's nice and warm there. We worry about her mutating from radiation from the monitor, but she's a strange cat at the best of times, so, like, how would we tell if she mutated?

Our house is a mess at the moment. I'm trying to decorate the living room and kitchen, but there hasn't been much progress over the past three weeks. Which means books and records and baby stuff piled all over the house where it shouldn't be, and gaping holes in the kitchen and unpainted walls in the living room. I'm fast running out of time to get it done before the baby arrives. And it doesn't even bear thinking about that it comes early. One day though, I know, the house will be kinda finished and liveable and the effort will have been worth it. Just still waiting on that day though.

Anyway. Enough tonight.