Valentine's
day
14 February, 2000
It's, ummm, Valentine's Day today. Deb sent me an e-Valentine's Day card. It was rather sweet! I haven't got her anything, but … on Saturday I've arranged for my parents to have Matthew stay with them, and I've planned a night out for us. I can't tell you what it is here, because, *whispering quietly* "Debbie reads this journal too, and she'd find out, and I want it to be a surprise."
In fact, *in a louder voice so Debbie doesn't have to eavesdrop* "it's actually a really boring night I've got planned, not much to get your hopes up about."
It got cold today again, a southerly and gray skies. Weird summer weather.
When Matthew does something he's really proud of, like joining his plastic train carriages to the engine, or sticking the car keys into a small hole in the chair, so they stay there dangling, he gets very excited and proud of himself. He comes running to find me, insistently crying, "DaddyDaddyDaddy", and tugs on my arm until I go see what he's done.
It's a slow process, watching someone grow right before your eyes. Changes meld imperceptibly into changes, you struggle to remember when he couldn't do something. But if you take a minute, and recall 6 months ago, a year ago, it's a different person that's with you now.
Maybe one day Matthew will read this journal and know what he means to me, and to Debbie. Maybe he'll realise what we owe him.
Actually, I'll settle for him realising how much money he's cost us, and in return promising to look after us in our dotage!