Middle-aged
and tired
Thursday 29 June 2000
I'm middle-aged. I finally realise that. Oh, I may try to hide it by buying trendy music and getting trendy haircuts. I may have a trendy job in web design, but it's all a sham — I've seen through myself.
Two days ago I went out and bought my first pair of slippers. And it felt great. They're a tartan corduroy pattern, soft, nice and flexible. My feet feel comfortable in them. I'm wearing them right now.
I'd finally had enough of wearing socks around the house and getting cold feet, or wearing my shoes and feeling all sweaty. I'm now rejoicing in my slipperness.
But I'm under no illusions that this means anything other than the start of the slide into my dotage. Slippers are things old people wear!
It's been a tough week here. Deb has been home all week with a really bad case of the flu, including an infection on her tonsils. It hasn't improved much, so she's back to the Doctor's tomorrow. She's hardly slept these past four nights.
Matthew's got quite a bad cold, although not an infection. He's been waking up 1-2 times each night, crying and coughing. I'm not good in the middle of the night dealing with him. Last night I actually hit my fist into the wall in frustration that he wouldn't go to sleep.
I've been sleeping on the couch in my sleeping bag the past four nights, which has generally been a nightmare. Actually a nightmare would have been good — at least them I would have known I'd slept! If it hasn't been Matthew waking, it's been the cats. Trying to sleep on top of me. Trying to crawl inside the sleeping bag with me. One getting jealous of the other because the other's inside the sleeping bag and she's not. So the jealous one sits two inches from my face staring at me in a not-nice way.
Last night, finally, I got more than 3 hours uninterrupted sleep. Until Deb woke me to help her with Matthew.
The days have been almost worse. Matthew's been coughing and irritable. Debbie's been exhausted or trying to sleep. I'm brain-dead from watching “Bob the Builder” on video for the third time that day. I'm struggling to not come down with anything myself.
Things can only improve. Can't they?