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There's
an empty packet of “Stripes” chocolate biscuits and
a half-eaten packet of “Mallowpuffs” (chocolate covered
marshmallow biscuits) on the desk. Two empty tea cups. Papers
strewn everywhere, a copy of the yellowpages and Matthew's yellow
fireman's helmet on the floor. An empty wine glass sits on the
filing cabinet and it's warm in here with the heater. It's a small
room, painted yellow with blue trim around the door and the window.
Posters on the wall and some photos on the shelf. A small bookcase
on the wall to my left and a larger one behind me with a whiteboard
above it.
I've
spent hours and hours in this room. At all hours of the day and
night. Often alone, sometimes with Debbie sitting here next to
me, occasionally with Matty pulling at my arm to leave the computer
and come play with him. The cats wander in and out.
A
bus ticket, an empty glasses case and a discman sit on the desk.
It's quiet except for the hum of the computer and Debbie's soft
breathing beside me.
It's
dark outside. There was a lovely blue in the sky this evening,
just before it started to get dark. Not a deep blue, but a sharp,
fresh light blue. The grey clouds scudded across the sky and the
blue was a backdrop — sharp and crisp and clear. It was a
blue to make you want to do things, a newly washed fresh blue.
Both
Deb and I felt wonderful today. Relaxed and happy. We went for
brunch with my parents, at a cafe with a big selection of children's
toys so Matty could play. He built ramps for cars and played with
some other kids there. Later my parents took him for the afternoon,
Deb went shopping in town and I came home to do some work. I had
the stereo blasting and the house to myself and I was in this
room working. But the thing was, I had a glimpse today of life
beyond work and it was good!
I'm
having thoughts tonight of just wanting to create things. For
me, not for other people. Something personal, something to add
to this site/journal. I know Deb is to. She's thinking of taking
a photography course. I've got books I waiting to be read on Flash
and Photoshop and Illustrator. I want to carve out some time for
myself over the next couple of months and immerse myself in learning
and creating and exploring. There's more I want to say, but I'm
just not sure what and how to say it!
I'm
still getting back into writing again here. I think it may take
a few entries …
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