Tunnel Vision in Mid-Winter
8 July, 2001

It does seem so long since I last wrote. I've been so tired and stressed out over all the work I have to do. I have recovered from the flu, but Debbie has promptly come down with - along with morning sickness. So she's vomiting most mornings and evenings, and in-between times feeling totally wiped out and miserable. She had all last week off work. Added to that is Matthew's insistence on sleeping in our bed and our caving in to him as we're too exhausted to fight it right now.

So it's been largely a week of work, sleep and eat takeaway food. And snapping at each other and Matthew when it all gets too much. Oh, and it's mid-winter and we've had two of the coldest days for years last week. Debbie is just exhausted, and feeling a little depressed also. Work has been tough for her all year, and it's all caught up on her. She needs, I think, an extended rest, but she's used all her sick and holiday leave already. It's become a bit of vicious cycle - feeling exhausted and never catching up, so it progressively gets a little worse each week. Throw pregnancy into the mix and it becomes pretty tough. We've talked some about her leaving work and maybe doing a few days a week working from home and a couple days a week looking after Matthew. But there's all sorts of issues involved in a decision like that - financial, career, social. I think we both think something needs to change, but we're not quite sure what.

Debbie yelled out to me tonight to come in and watch something on tv. It was a short feature on the Discovery channel about a family with three young kids where the parents had sold up the house and took the kids on a year's trip around the world. We just sat and watched, lost in dreams of doing something similar. When it finished Debbie walked over and took out our photo album from the three years we lived in London. We looked through it together. Pictures of us 11-14 years younger. Cycling through France, the Pyrennes, in Wales and Cornwall. Where we lived in London. People we knew then. Us with unlined faces, seemingly so young then.

You forget, when you're wrapped up with life, where you've come from and what you've done. Life can seem like a short day-to-day tunnel you've got to get through, and you don't remember the mountains you've climbed and the roads you've cycled to get there. We talked about taking our kids travelling around the world. I can't think of a better education, or a better thing we could do for them.

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Tunnel Vision in Mid-Winter
8 July, 2001

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Tunnel Vision in Mid-Winter 8 July, 2001

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Tunnel Vision in Mid-Winter
8 July, 2001